Move on buddy.. What is the point in thinking you did not get what you deserved? Try to start afresh each morning. Try something of worth to follow, like a habit or belief that makes you enjoyable. Otherwise you'll fall into depression. Take care of your mom. "after all, she is your mom"
I read this and burst into tears. I am in the exact same situation. I live an upper-middle class environment. My parents and I have never had a close relationship, we fight all the time and they try to control every aspect in my life while not seeming to care about how it effects me. I don't remember the last time I had a meaningful conversation, with my parents or told them I loved them and I don't see this ever changing. A month ago my mom was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. I find myself totally confused. I still feel as angry and disconnected as before yet I feel like I have turned into the parent as I shower my mom with kind words and support. I'm not sure the anger will ever go away and I don't think anything will ever change but its comforting to know that I'm being the bigger person and giving my parents the love that I desired growing up.
I just want to say that you are not alone.
I want to encourage you to simply Love. It's not an easy word to say, think or feel sometimes but it is one of the most powerful words we have. Especially when it is turned into actions. You may not have recieved much of anything from your mother growing up, but now you have a chance to give what you wish you would have gotten. Sometimes the blessing is in the giving. Find ways to be a blessing and I guarantee you will in turn be blessed.
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