Today, even after all the heart-to-heart talks, I found out that my 14 year old honor student lost her virginity. MMT

Comments

a teenager had sex despite a parent saying its not cool? oh my christ

Don't listen to the troll. you and she have nothing to be ashamed of. So long as you continue to teach her to be safe if she has sex with someone, and encourage her to be open with you, you will both be fine. my mother never even tried to speak with me about sex and I hate that. your daughter is lucky.

I was the same way at that age, I turned out fine, I was even salutatorian.

I don't think #1 was trolling. With your guidance, your daughter was able to make an informed decision. It may not have been the one you were hoping for, but hopefully you taught her about birth control and not putting up with assholes.

I'm with #1 on this one. I'm going to assume that the other commenters here are parents or older, and here's what's up; what you saw as heart-to-heart talks, she probably saw as nagging. My mom does that ALL THE TIME. I zone out and nothing sticks. Now, you have the best intentions, so I'm sure you can justify whatever you've said, but also seeing as how you have had a lot of these"talks" she probably sees it as a way you're trying to control her life, and this is a way she can get control back. I'd say go with 4; Make sure she's safe and make sure you're OPEN to listening to what she says, instead of PUSHING your views on her.

Fourteen is too young to understand sexual responsibility, I'm sorry. Did you make the mistake of emphasizing "waiting for the person you love" like my parents did? I still waited, but I also say plenty of friends mistaking infatuation for love and going ahead with it because it seemed expected that "everybody does it" and sex is important for a healthy relationship and all that jazz. You have to be careful with phrasing because teenagers will tune out all but the gist.

You act like she's let you down in some way. Just because she's an honor student and she's your daughter doesn't mean her hormones are raging any less than any other teenager's. Losing her virginity at fourteen is not going to leave as big a scar as feeling like a disappointment to her mother for expressing her sexuality.

I have a feeling that the comments saying that sex at 14 is no big deal are from other 14 year olds. I'm 19 and I have learned a LOT since high school. I know that I was not mature enough for sex at that age, but when I was 14, I thought I knew everything and didn't have to listen to anyone else. You are not fully matured yet when you are 14. Can anyone over 18 honestly say they haven't learned anything or matured since high school? I don't think so.

I too, found out my daughter, an honor roll student has lost virginity...We have talked about sex, the importance of protection and I was thankful that she listened to that...I was upset and I cried, but what's done is done and the only thing I (and you as well) is be there for them and not to judge them. It's a lot different this day in time than when we were growing up and I wouldn't go back to being a teenager for anything in this world.

Does being smart and "grown-up" mean a person is ready for sex? Does being young mean a person isn't ready? A person is ready when they are ready. It's not anyone's place to judge.

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