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Today, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. In roughly a year I am going to die. And when I read the MMTs about people who are depressed – who are contemplating suicide, all I can think is: “Wow! I wish I had the choice you do. Because I would choose life.” MMT

#12352 (30) - Jan 20, 2011 by QT - Sad - Yes, that made me think too! (3556) - No, that made me sleepy. (206)



You are so strong and inspiring.

Depression is an illness just like cancer. You can't just say "I'm going to be happy today" and have the depression gone. Sometimes people feel suicide is the only option they have.

I would think that those suffering from depression would choose happiness and life if they could. Mental disorders are no less serious than those more visible on the outside.

Wow, so because you get cancer, you are now better than those with "lesser" illnesses? Just because the media goes crazy about how much cancer sufferers deal with doesn't mean those with depression are not in as much trouble. It may get to the stage where you think suicide is your way out. You don't know what depression is like until you have it. Imagine waking up and feeling like nothing you do matters, that there is no point to life. No one cares about you or what would happen if you were suddenly gone. That's depression. So you have been given a year to live. People have beaten those "death sentences" all the time. Look at Stephen Hawkin, he should have been dead years ago, but he still lives. If you really have a year left, I would suggest you make sure the mark you leave is a positive one.

I'm 20 years old. I grew up trans and add. You think I wouldn't give anything to have one year left without having my mind scattered, being able to see the world the way so many people do? I'd be glad to live one week in a body that fits my mind, without having to worry about stuff that most people will never think about. As someone that's dealt with a lot of depressed people also, I assure you that they wish they had a choice, too. Cancer and depression - both are proven diseases caused by bad genes. Their expressions are just different. Please don't judge. Best of luck.

I'm not going to go back and say what everyone else has said, mostly because that'd be repetitive and some of it is rude, which isn't what we're here to be. I'm sorry that you have cancer. I wouldn't wish it on anyone- but I used to wish it on myself. It's hard to think about suicide. You get depressed and you are suddenly in a spiral-- how you would do it, who, if anyone, would care, when you would do it, whatever. And then, randomly, you have maybe two hours of euphoria, where everything is just amazing and you're on top of the world and YOU CAN DO THIS! And then, crashing down, you're suddenly back on your bed with bloody tissues in one hand and your ipod blasting. Suicide starts to seem appealing... It's difficult. But I would trade you in a heartbeat. I'm 16.

THANKYOU!!! And even though all the odds are against you, dont say your gonna be dead in roughly a year. You don't have to give up that easliy. Advances in medicene are made everyday and doctars are coming closer and closer to a cure. I hope you never stop fighting your disease, and have little more faith:)

Tonight my prayers are offered to you, all those who suffer from cancer and depression. Peace.

Personally, I didn't see this as all that judgmental. In my interpretation, I thought of it as making the reader think about the different effects of disease. One (depression) can make you want to die, while the other (cancer) makes you want to live more than anything. And honestly, it really DOES make you think. It makes you think about depression and what it means to sufferers. It makes you think about life and what you take for granted. People are probably going to try to tell me that my interpretation of this MMT is "wrong" but they can go for it, because I don't believe that there ARE and "right" or "wrong" interpretations.

I agree with carpediem103- I don't think the OP is disputing whether or not depression is a serious illness, or somehow say cancer is "worse". I believe that what they are saying is that both are terrible diseases that sometimes lead to death, the only difference is that his (or her) disease is incurable, and that someone suffering from depression still may have hope to live and be happy. He is not saying that those suffering from depression have a "choice" to become suddenly and irrevocably content; but rather they do not have the same sort of definite terminal illness as he does, and can survive. Depression runs in my family and I know its effects well, but I strongly believe that anyone suffering from depression, no matter how badly, still has the chance to turn their lives around with the support of friends, family, and professional help- a chance that the OP does not have. This definitely MMT.

"Life" is never a choice. If it were, then both depression and cancer would be nonexistent. Fundamentally, they're different. But the effects that they have on people are the exact same; some survive, some don't I'm sorry for your medical state; I truly am. I don't mean to come off as rude, or anything, but you seem to come off as condescending. And as someone who's lost nearly her entire family to suicide and been close to the brink herself, I can tell you truthfully that it is no more a choice than cancer. Heh, maybe it's ironic, but the three family members that have been diagnosed with "terminal" cancer have survived to be swallowed by depression. That sounds really . . . Really depressing. My ultimate point is that, a disease is a disease, and death is death. It isn't "chosen". However, is can be beaten. Keep your head up, and stop thinking "what if". Make plans for next year. It's possible, and you can do it C:

OP, Stay strong! My internship mentor was diagnosed with breast cancer and was given a year to live as well. She chose life and beat the odds against her. I would often ask her how she got through it and stayed positive and she said did because she was thankful for the time she did have. Stay strong! To all of the other readers who are losing their minds: hush. S/he clearly didn't mean to come off as condescending and I highly doubt s/he's saying one disease isn't worse than the other. Don't make it worse for the OP by lecturing! Keep strong OP!

Is there honestly a discussion here comparing terminal cancer to depression? Depression is treated with SSRI's and therapy, terminal cancer is treated with surgery and radioactive chemicals, and still inevitably leads to a painful death. jml2010-Depression is not "just like" cancer. For example, a stage IV astrocytoma/glioblastoma multiforme is a brainstem tumor. Since it's on the brainstem, it can't be surgically removed, and it doesn't respond to chemo. The average prognosis is 12 months, and it affects mainly children. You really think depression, which is a chemical imbalance with few physical symptoms, and is treatable without toxic chemicals, is that bad? Amber-Yes, cancer is actually more serious than pretty much all mental disorders. Stop validating your own misery by blaming a chemical imbalance that if you really believe you have, you can get treatment for. I bet none of you would be able to look OP in the eyes and say that depression and cancer are somehow equal. And please don't say I'm ignorant because you took this post as meaning depression isn't a real disease.

no one has an expiry date on them- people love to ask and doctors feel obligated to tell, but no doctor, no matter how expert, does not know the course of an illness- get this negative mojo out of your system. Until you are dead, you are living, not dying

@christinarose, I can understand where you're coming from in saying that she doesn't truly know whether she's going to live or die and she should be focusing on her life in the moment, but I think what you said is entirely untrue. Yes, there are miracles, and sometimes tragedies where people go sooner than expected, but doctors mostly know what their talking about. A family friend died of lung cancer a few years ago. The doctors gave him six months to live, and he died in five. Doctors feel obligated because it's their job. And OP, I wish you the best. I hope you're case is one of the miracles.

I've done extensive research on a fairly unknown treatment that has cured even terminal cancer... I'm not telling you what to do, but if you wish to look into it it's called The Gerson Therapy. I wish i knew about this when my grandmother was dieing of cancer... I would have had her try it. To the people that are being rude to the person that posted this, I had depression years ago; Severe enough that I constantly wished I wouldn't wake up the next day... Until I saw what it was like for someone I loved die. I realized how badly it hurts the people around you. I wanted to live, even if it was just so that I wouldn't hurt anyone else with my selfish desires. I'm now happier than I've ever been and if I had followed through with the impulses I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. To the cancer sufferer, I wish you the best o matter what you decide to do. I hope you have a fantastic life even if it's only a year or if its decades.

I am extremely offended with this only because you cannot assume you know what a depressed person is going through just as we cannot assume that we know what your going through. Depression is a real disease and can kill you, just like cancer is a real disease and can kill you. We would never tell you that if you don't want to have cancer just think you don't have cancer and that you are healthy, just like you shouldn't tell us that if you dont want to be depressed just stop thinking you are depressed and want to kill yourself. I am very sorry for your diagnosis though i wish you the absolute best

And i want to apologize for some of the responses others have left comparing the two, ive been through depression and my mom has been through 2 rounds of cancer. I know there isn't even a comparing the two, yes they are both diseases but you shouldnt try to compare two things that are different. The blessing it sounds like you've had from this though, is realizing how much you appriciate life. And that's inspirational and beautiful, i have no doubt that you will live more in your lifetime then hundreds of thousands of people will in their 80 years of life.

Just like you didn't have a choice in your illness, they didn't have a choice in theirs. This post sounds quite cold, and you really need to get over that. I'm terminally ill too. And at first it does seem unfair, but when you get down to it, you have to realize they're sick too. If illness is a choice, you should just as easily be able to just stop having cancer and therefore not die. But you can't. So you should know better than to try and ask anyone else to just stop being sick, because if you can't, how can you expect them to? You're really not so different from them...

Depressed and suicidal isn't something someone wakes up and chooses to be...

Your post, made me cry. When I was 9, my dad died of colon cancer..when I was 8 I had to take care of the dying man I called "daddy." I grew up quick, and angry, depressed, tried suicide many times but realized its not worth it, I had at least 8 great years with him. And if he were here physically, he would want me to live. If you ever need someone to talk to, I've been through it and came close to death (heart issues and more) myself. I hope to hear from you. Mariah "Ry" Wilson My email- Yourstruly884@aol.com

first off, i want to send you all my condolences. i am so sorry. second i want to let everyone that i am going to try and be as respectful as humanly possible, here goes. i dont think that QT had the intention of being rude, condescending, or malicious in anyway. i have had some experiences with cancer and depression in my life and what i have found is that SUICIDE is a CHOICE. cancer is not something you choose, just as depression is not something you choose. taking your own life is a choice. weather you are depressed or have cancer or anything else "wrong"with you, it is a choice. and i think that QT was just trying to state that they would rather not make that choice. i am not saying that cancer is worse than depression or vice versa. i am simply stating the fact that everyone has a CHOICE as to weather or not they want to deal with all the crap that life has handed them or be done and over with it. good night.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Treasure the time you have left. Everyone is saying that suicide isn't something that people who are depressed choose. This isn't true. My mum has clinical depression, which she was diagnosed with 19 years ago, and she is one of the strongest people I know. She takes anti-depressants and has recently started going to cognitive behavioural therapy sessions. She's a wonderful person, despite her depression tries her very hardest to be happy, and faces a battle with her depression every day, but she doesn't give up. I know that she would never commit suicide because she loves me and my brother and sister and other people in her life so much. When our family goes through tough times my mum is our rock. So yes, there's always a choice.

stay strong (:

My mom always says that to me(I wish i had the choice to die like people contemplating suicide), but I wish she understood she is choosing when shes going to die. She was diagnosed with cancer 8 years ago and the doctor gave her a year to live. Shes alive because she choose it. She fought for yes, but I feel like the fact you got the time should just make it that much sweeter.

to QT: i just discovered this site today and i have been glued to the computer for 3 hours while i sit outside reading the MMT posts. My mom had cancer and is going through yearly check ups to make sure it goes away. No matter how "terminal" your disease is know that YOU are in control of your live and not the disease. I have type 1 diabetes and although cancer is a lot worse than i can imagine, the one thing I can tell you is to never stop living and to never be jealous of other people, because the gifts and moments you have had in your life will never compare to anyone else's. stay strong and i will pray for you every night and next year i will comment exactly a year after your post and i look forward to you replying back to me how you are still alive :) take care stranger- Dylan

I think everybody on here is probably right in their own way. I have severe depression, but I would never say that it was as bad as cancer. And to all those saying that it's a choice because for depression you can get on meds that will help you where as cancer you cant always do that, you're wrong. My depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in my brain and so I have been on meds for a while, but they haven't help. People should just stop assuming that they know everything about others lives. Just because you feel that your hardship is harder than anothers, doesnt mean that they aren't suffering just as much. And to the OP, I hope you you either live a great life and die at 95 years surrounded by children and grandchildren, or you have the best last one year of your life.

@Slimjim My Dad had depression. His body was resistant to drugs - it responded to drugs as if they were diseases. They kept having to up his dosages, switch medicine, he tried therapy, and was about to try electroshock when he accidentally overdosed on prescription antidepressants. The last several years of his life was filled with sadness, emptiness, feelings of worthlessness, physical symptoms from withdraw from medicine, and insomnia that lasted for months at a time. I'm not saying cancer isn't awful; it may even be worse. However, don't brush depression off as something that can be brushed off with a few "happy pills".

Thats so true, people can help depression. they cant help cancer. depression is a state of mind. and a dumb one

I got this by clicking random, and can't help but noticing it was well over a year ago. It made me think about my year. It was by far one of the worst years of my life. But I hope it was the best one of yours

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