Find something you can do in your area that involves helping others. The fastest way to feel better about yourself is to work with others that are much worse off than you are.
You know the old saying that beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone? I've know a lot of people that were physically attractive, but were nothing on the inside. I've knowm more people that would never be able to be a model, yet had an inner beauty that can't be described.
If you think you are disgusting, you will act that way. Find a way to bring out the inner beauty.
Volunteer at a food kitchen, working with disabled people or better yet, work with kids that have Down's syndrome. They don't know how to hate, and they see your inner beauty, even when you can't.
You are beautiful! Acknowledging your insecurity with sincerity is the first step in healing. I want to recommend a book someone handed to me, called "Dark Side of the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford. She dealt with a lot of fears and insecurities, including how she looked and her social identity. But by connecting with who she really is on the inside, she found that inner beauty, and was able to take it out and share it with the world. These things take time, patience, and trust in yourself. I believe your true beauty is aching to come out, so I want to let you know, You're loved for who you are, and You're beautiful! Smile! Shine and let the world know!
Don't do it for anyone but yourself. I still struggle with the same thing, but I'm almost better. What I found helpful is watching real girls (not models) I think are attractive and I notice men being attracted to and I realized it wasn't the frail girls, but the ones that were a bit curvy. They just genuinely look healthier. It took me a long time to realize this and although I still want to lose weight and have no curves, I know I'm more attractive to others like this. So, in a way I guess I didn't do it for myself. I don't know, it seems to work for me. I wish you luck.
You are struggle than you know. I promise that things will get better. Just start looking at yourself as the beautiful person that you are!
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