The problem isn't you, it's him. Some people just don't understand that you need positive encouragement. I think your dad, in his own way, is trying to help you. It's the wrong way, obviously. Have you considered talking to your dad and asking him why he can't say that he loves you? Maybe - maybe, he will begin to understand. If not, the fault isn't yours.
#1 - by dslovejoy
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Confession, your post had me in tears, remembering how this felt. I grew up with a mother who is just like your dad - I always felt like I was never good enough, she was always criticizing me. It took me over 40 years (and my boyfriend's family showing me how a supportive family should be) before I went to a counselor and found out that she has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and that it REALLY wasn't my fault. It took me a year and a half of congnitive behavioral therapy before I uprooted a lot of the terrible feelings she instilled in me. Please, please don't think it's you and that "you're not good enough" - it's him and he will probably never change. If you have the means, find a good cognitive behavioral therapist (you don't need to figure out why you feel the way you do, that's obvious, you need help coping with it) to get you past those feelings and realize you're fine just the way you are, no matter what he says. If you don't have the means, get hold of the book Mind Over Mood and do the exercises, they will help. You're better than he says you are!!!
#2 - by Beenthere
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@Beenthere - If your counselor is giving diagnosis about a woman they have never met, you're going to the wrong counselor. They could have told you that it might be your mothers issue, but that's a huge stretch. Which is why therapists are better than 'counselors'. A therapist (hopefully) wouldn't have made a rash judgement.
#3 - by DaxxButtons
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He's not good at voicing his approval of you. But remember that the reason he still corrects you and critics you is because he still cares about you and wants you to be the best that you can be. Trust me, my dad is the same, and sometimes I feel the same way, but I realize that while he may never say "I love you" he is showing it every day.
#4 - by Tomahawkkk
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