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Hang in there. I know that it's hard, but hang in there. There's cliche things you can hear- that it'll come or that you should be glad you aren't with someone who doesn't deserve you, etc, but honestly, 100% honestly, it might not come for a long while. It might never come. But that you hold in there and hope and know that when you get the chance you will love with all of yourself and completely for someone who truly sees how amazing and good and worth while you are... That's why you hang in there. There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing you have to fix. You just have to wait and hope that someone, someday maybe sees how absolutely perfect you are for them.
I'm 28. Attractive and outgoing and kind and happy. And people have come close. I have loved and lost. But no one has seen that 100% in me yet. I'm still waiting, just like you. I see the same thing everyday and wonder if there's something wrong in me to that even those who were with me would rather be alone than next to me. But I'm going to wait. Because I'm not going to settle for someone who doesn't see me for all of me. And neither should you. Hang in there. You're not alone. We'll be loved yet.
Your not alone, I'm 21 too and have never been in a serious relationship. In fact, I just finally started to date a decent guy. It may lead to something it may not. However, you have to look at things like this: relationships are two sided. You may see the happy couples outside sharing their time together, however, things do go bad too. They are hard work. Remember, you are still young yet, life is full of surprises. You never know, the one for you may be out there looking for you tomorrow or even next week. Most importantly, don't let it get you down. I've been there. It's not worth being depressed in your 20's. We are young and you only live once! Keep your chin up, and change your username to youngandfabulous :)
I understand not wanting to be alone, but I strongly advise you to be comfortable with yourself before finding a significant other. A strong relationship is made of two people sharing their happiness with each other, not depending on the other to give it to them.
I felt the same. I honestly believed that I would never find that someone who I would be able to give my everything to, who I would be able to be me with, someone I could show my craziness, my morning hair or me in fatpants and a baggy t-shirt. I thought it would never happen and I would be alone forever. And now, I sit here writing to you as I watch my partner of two years dance round the room like a crazy person to Adele. I'ver never been happier. Sometimes it just happens. When you least expect it. With the person you never thought it would happen with (my partner was in my group of friends for 3 years before we started dating, and I NEVER thought of him in anyway except a friendship way. then something changed!) Hope! Love! Believe! Be happy! Be yourself and someone will see through to your heart.
After an abusive marriage, divorced by 24, and 2 or 3 serious relationships that only ended in heartbreak, I too worried that I was born unloveable. I spent my late 30s in a deep depression over the fact that no one found me worthy for long. What a waste of time! Once I emerged from the other side, I realized that there are worse things than being alone. I now look at all of my married friends and 90% of them are MISERABLE! I"ve seen friends of both genders lose everything they worked for, for decades, in divorces. I've seen people fight over kids like they were tinker toys with no regard whatsoever for that kid's well[-being, using the child like an instrument of revenge.
I have been alone but I have been happy (once I stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped listening to society's pathetic message that we are losers unless we are validated by a partner).
How I decorate, where I live, what I do for a living, what I think, how I feel, who I'm friends with, how many pets I own, what I drive, what I wear, what is for dinner, how I spend my money - it is ALL up to me. And despite what my family and the media said, I am NOT the only single person on the planet. I am NOT a loser because some man didn't deem me worthy, and I am NOT having to put my life on hold until I find a partner.
I may die alone - what used to be my worst fear. But I've seen people with spouses and children die feeling very much alone because they were surrounded by selfish people. I'd much rather be alone and still have hope, then be saddled with asshats and have no hope.
Stay strong, my dear.
This gives me hope. I'm convinced I am the most boring person alive. I'm pretty attractive, I grab the attention of guys easily, but once they start to talk to me and get to know me, every damn one of them decides that they don't actually want me. I'm a nice person who loves adventure and getting out there and experiencing things, but I'm just not funny or exciting to be around I guess. I have a hard time keeping friends because they always find someone more exciting and leave me. I'm terrified that I was just born to be unlovable and that I'll die alone. Hearing stories like #4 and #5 both give me hope. Either I'll find someone eventually or I'll learn to accept being single. And you will too! =)
I am 21 and single too....and even today I think if something maybe wrong with me, its not like I havnt got the chance or anything but I have never felt like committing to something only because everyone is doing it...I believe that in matters of the heart, it must be done from the heart, and reading your post and everyone's comments gives me hope....that I am not alone, that one day I will meet that one guy for whom I dont have to be anyone other than me. I know that you may feel alone now, but the wait will be worth it when you find him!!! hope you all the luck and happiness in you life :)
I had my heart broken so many times, got rejections countless times, but I am still alive and I know I will be loved someday by a special one that has been saved for me. To all the ladies who are still single out there, you are beautiful, inside and outside, but in order to people to see that, you have to believe that you are beautiful as well, and become a better person.
Looks like there's enough motivational postings here, so here is what my first thought was. "OH NO YOU'RE TWENTY ONE AND HAVEN'T FOUND ANYONE YET, BETTER HURRY UP BEFORE WE ALL DIE OF THE PLAGUE AT 32. DUHHUR." You're young. All I can say is that being depressed is not going to help.
Alright, lass. Two things.
First. There's nothing wrong with you. Whatsoever.
Second. You're beautiful. Never forget that.
Third. If you haven't found the right one yet, that means you know what you're looking for. You're going to find someone, and you're going to love them, and they're going to love you back.
You and I probably have high standards for what we look in partners. Just 2 more years and I will be exactly where you are now. I'm 19 and have not had a girlfriend (or school dance date) ever. It claws at me, but I still keep my head up, rely on my friends, and remain hopeful that I will be happy one day soon. I can feel that day just around the corner. You need to feel this too. You will get a decent guy. I can tell you that it is just around the corner, but you just need to hope and wait patiently.
As I read this story, I realised I am looking at the person I was. I had been a loner all my teenage years and when the time came I jumped into a relationship believing that it was all I needed to keep me happy, to keep me going. But, I was walked out on and I had been marred ever since. Another relationship didn't help because once again I had made the mistake of jumping into it. Both the times, before I started I had let my desperation cloud my judgement. It's not like I hadn't given much thought but I had never given the right thought. I didn't see myself completely and hence both the times I made myself most miserable.
Finally a year ago, after I had given up on relationships, on love, on companionship and on trust, I met the most amazing person, out of the blue. He turned out to be the one I had always waited for. Today we are engaged and I would tell anybody who is ready to listen is to never give up because there's is somebody who is waiting for you. It might be days, weeks or months but remember the person is taking his/her steps to you. So smile and make your life beautiful enough to be able to tell lovely stories to your future better half :)
I know how you feel. In middle school and high school I watched all of my friends get and keep boyfriends. Meanwhile every guy I liked and thought I was finally going to have a lasting relationship with broke my heart and disappeared from my life. Then one day the greatest guy walked into my life. He had just moved here from Sudan, didn't speak much English and had alot of emotional problems. We helped each other get through the pain. He has been there through everything and we are celebrating our 8th anniversary this August. When I think of everything we had to go through to finally find each other, it really MMT. Your other half is out there somewhere, they just haven't found you yet. So don't get discouraged, keep your head high and be the best person for yourself and the best person for you will fall into your life when you least expect it.