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Today, his suicide letter discusses nothing but loneliness, but 851 people showed up to his wake and signed the guestbook. MMT

#16566 (3) - Aug 19, 2012 by Jesse - Sad - Yes, that made me think too! (786) - No, that made me sleepy. (22)



In my experience, sometimes it is far easier to feel lonely when you're surrounded by people.

Just because people signed the guestbook does not mean that they were there for him... at all. In October I was in an accident that killed the two girls in my car and almost killed me - I was in the hospital for a month. I had -all- sorts of support from people. From my university, from my staffs, from friends, people that I didn't know, community churches - every one. They all wrote me and/or my family cards, they made signs to be hung up in my hospital room, I had hundreds of messages left for me on facebook, from people that I hadn't even talked to in years... and then I miraculously recovered, when no one expected me to, I got better, and I had to deal with a lot of emotional things at that point. That was when everyone stopped talking to me, hanging out with me, or even checking in on me. They thought I was doing better, even though I was depressed.. I couldn't go anywhere because I had no car, I wasn't allowed to drive because they thought that I had been having seizures, I couldn't work, I couldn't do anything, so I just sat in my room on campus alone because I had nothing to do and no one to talk to... People love to remember you as a great person when you're dead or almost dead, but if you're alive (even after you almost died) then everything's normal and they don't need to act supportive. I'm sure that he had people there for him and that cared for him immensely, but I'm just saying that just because hundreds of people showed up to his funeral does not mean that they were there for him when he needed them.

In high school I had a boyfriend who committed suicide, & we were quiet about 'us'. A few hundred students from our school came to the funeral, of whom I would count no more than four as his friends. One girl came up to me after I gave the eulogy (in which I declined to mention our relationship - it was too personal to share with strangers). She confided in me that she was extra-super devastated that our friend had died, because she was his girlfriend. As his best friend, she was sure I would understand what she was going through. Funeral attendance rates don't reflect the friendships you might have overlooked in real life. Many people will latch on to any connection they had with the deceased, fishing for sympathy.

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