I am so sorry you were put into this position. I was in the same position at the age of five but it was my mother. I chose to tell my father and though it made me sad at the time that they divorced they are both now happily married to other people and are great friends. I would say you should tell your mother. There is always the chance that they will go to counseling and fix things. It's better that everyone knows what really is going on. Or you could talk to your dad about it and give him the chance to come clean. I wish you all the best of luck and keep me updated!
you should probably ask your dad first, and if he says something that is uncivil or out of question, tell your mom. I know what you're going through. But remember, this too shall pass. Do update whatever happens. wishing you the best! :)
Your mother doesn't deserve that treatment. Tell her so she can move on with her life.
I think you put yourself in this position, it's not ok to go looking through someone's phone, regardless of who you are, there are boundaries. It doesn't excuse what your father did, but you need to respect other people's privacy.
Thank you so much for posting this. I am in the EXACT same position you are in. I have never felt more alone in my life. Unlike you I am 21 and decided to confront my dad 3 months after I found out about his affair. I discovered this helped, but I still question everyday whether or not to tell my mom. Not only do I know his mistress, I lived with her for 3 months and I am absolutely disgusted he would suggest I live with her. I just wanted to let you know that, you are not alone and we will be ok...someday. Please keep me updated!
Not to be rude or disrespectful but in the end you did go throw your dads phone and put yourself in this situation. In the end you can't blame your father. Blaming him for messing around on your mom-yes. Blaming him for you finding out the way you did-no.
I am so sorry for your predicament.
I would confront your father about this and tell your mother. Talking to your father might help him realize that he's is unhappy and needs to something different in his life, or he could realize that he made a mistake and he doesn't want to jeopardize or destroy his family. There's really no way of knowing until you talk to him about it. Maybe you should wait a little longer and then bring it up... You could also try to convince him to open up to your mom about what he did, because if I were in your mother's position, I wouldn't want to be involved in a relationship with someone who isn't honest with me about these kinds of things... I mean that just might be a personal preference, but I think generally people like to know what's going on with the people they love.
And I know some people are chewing you out for messing with your dad's phone, but accidents happen sometimes in which you can't put the blame on anything or anyone. I mean it's not like you were intentionally looking for something that could potentially tear your family apart, it just kind of came up...
Another reason to talk to your dad about what he did is that there could be a justification behind his actions.
But just remember that whatever happens, everything will work out somehow in the end, and you'll have some ability to take the outcome of this situation (whatever that outcome may be) and make it work for the best.
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