Please, tell her you love her and will be there for her. DON'T let her get an abortion. Having been there and done that, my husband and I can tell you that it messes up both parents for the rest of their lives. I'm praying for you both.
I respectfully disagree with not getting an abortion. Only she can decide if that's right for her. Be there for her, listen and support her. If she decides to terminate, know she will need emotional support. It's a hard, sad decision but it doesn't have to haunt her for life. In any case, it's her choice and pressuring her either way is not your place. If she wants to have the child and put it up for adoption she will need your support as well. And if she decides to keep the baby....well, then you need to consider how you feel dating a woman with a child. I do recommend that you proceed with caution, though. You've still only been dating 3 months. If you step in as a surrogate dad before you know if your relationship will last, you could end up doubly heartbroken. TL;DR - Be supportive but cautious
I agree with thinkitover - it is her desicion wether or not to get an abortion - you just need to be there for her and listen to what she wants to tell you, help her through her feelings. be there for her but don't pressure her.
She's already second trimester, so whatever she decides to do needs to be soon. Like the two posters above (not the first, the concern troll, ignoring what the medical community says about healthy mindsets after abortion and determining what's right for other people) said, you need to be empathetic and nonjudgmental, but you need to underscore the urgency of the situation. If abortion is a possibility, it needs to happen quickly, especially with so many state laws adding unnecessary procedures, counseling, and waiting periods. If she wants to keep the pregnancy, she needs prenatal care. And if she wants to put it up for adoption, she needs to get in touch with a reputable agency.
how did she just find out she's four months pregnant...
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