Life can be hard, especially in high-school and especially if you are gay. Your situation reminds of of my own, although I was nowhere near as popular. You need to be comfortable with who you are and if you just aren't ready to be out you'll hit a point when you know you are ready. Just remember all those people and those teams are a part of what defines you but they don't get the final say.
Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, and you insult every gay person by saying it is, including yourself. If you look down on people because they're gay, you need to stop being so shallow. If you look down on yourself because you're gay, you need to stop being so mean to yourself.
When I get down because people judge me for one shallow thing or another (I'm too fat, I'm not pretty enough, my clothes aren't right, whatever...) I stop and ask myself, "Would I ever be scummy enough to be so judgmental to someone else, the way that person is to me?" The answer is always "no". So then I realize, "If someone is that much of a piece of crap, why do I care what they think anyway?" And then I realize that I don't care.
Once you come out, you'll see who your friends really are :)
I like how no one ever takes into account why people might be hiding that they're gay. Sure, I also agree that hiding your sexuality sucks a huge load. But if I lived in any of the countries (or even the states in the US) that were so anti-homosexual that they might murder me, I'd hide, too.
Not saying OP lives any place like that, but... Us reminding him that he doesn't have to hide in the closet is stupid. Some people DO have to hide. And that is what should be worked on, tolerance. Not the ability to be brave enough to admit it.
You give me hope (: Always know that there are people who love and support you no matter what your sexual preference is. I hope everything works out for you- you sound like such a wonderful person.
Are you ashamed of being gay or ashamed of the fact you are hiding it? Once you finish school you will realise that there is a whole, enormous world out there where you can be whateverand whoever you bloody well want to be. And stuff the rest of them if they don't like it. If you live somewhere that is really homophobic, then you can eventually move to a place where you will be loved and appreciated for who you are. I think it's nobody's business if you like girls or guys. People need to mind their own business! For the meantime, however, if you aren't able or ready to admit to the world who you really are, I guess you just have to know that that day will come eventually, and it will be liberating!
I am not gay and do not intend to speak out of context, but sooner or later the fact that you are hiding it will catch up with you as with any other problem. It is probably very difficult to be so popular and perhaps it would be a difficult situation to handle within the family. Ultimately though, you will have to weigh the pros and cons of coming out or continuing to hide it. I should be telling you to admit to it and not be ashamed (I do not believe you should be ashamed at all!), but there is more than likely a very good reason you're hiding it and perhaps it makes life easier for you. But as everyone else has said, until you own up to your full self you will never really be able to experience that freedom!
I know it may seem hard and you're probably afraid of what will occur when you come out. However, I just want to let you know. Out of those 1000 friends, there has to be at least one in there who will be there for you. Once you admit to yourself the truth, you will see who your true friends are. And trust me, from experience I can tell you that it is when you discover your true friends that you are happiest. Socciety is evolving, and there are plenty of people that will accept you for who you are. I can tell you that I aam one of them. So if you haven't already, go ahead and face your fear. Because it is who you are and your true self is AMAZING.
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