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Today, I know I am a horrible father when I sometimes catch myself holding him and crying and wishing he had died during birth instead of my wife, the love of my life. MMT

#17239 (13) - Jan 7, 2013 by Anonymous - Sad - Yes, that made me think too! (1180) - No, that made me sleepy. (43)


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That is so gross. Just imagine what if your kid sees this post or comes to know about it. Poor kid. Please be thankful that atleast he/she lived. What would have happened if both of them were dead?

Sir, you are not a horrible father. To address the above: how would your kid find out the post was by you? To address your comment: it's very tough, being a single parent in the way that you are. I'm sorry that this is your life. I'm sorry your son will grow up never knowing his mom; I'm so sorry your love is gone. Please know that you aren't alone - look for support groups, go to your place of worship, reach out to your friends and family.

Not a horrible father just a hurt and broken one. Pray and talk to someone. You have her in your heart and a piece of her in your arms. I'm sorry for your lose. God bless you and that sweet child. May your wife RIP

That doesn't make you a horrible person, that makes you an incredibly hurt individual who lost someone incredibly special and dear to you. That doesn't mean you don't love your child, or that you don't want him. It means that you lost someone special that cannot be replaced and without knowing that kind of intimate and scarring pain I cannot even begin to imagine how that feels. When someone is so special to us and becomes such an enormous part of our lives it's only natural that healing will be difficult and heartbreaking. It may be good for you to see a psychologist, yes it might be scary sounding to do but could greatly help you in the healing process and allowing you to fully begin a meaningful life with your son. A life that you clearly want with him.

sir i am a son whose father is only shallow. My parents would always disagree. there came a time when he had a mistress... i think you should treasure and reciprocate the love you have for your wife to your son for he is born from you and your wife and i'm sure she'll be smiling looking out for you and your son.

That is horrible, and I truly feel sorry for your child. I'm sorry for your loss, and their is absolutely nothing wrong with wishing your wife was still alive. But to wish that your child was dead instead is truly horrific. Does admitting this somehow make you feel better about yourself? So wrong.

The person is obviously in a lot of pain and still needs time for healing. It is very unlikely the child will grow up unloved/neglected because he feels this way at the moment. He obviously knows it is wrong, with how he is calling himself horrible. Telling him something he already knows, while not being in a situation even close to one he is, is very unwarranted and condescending. Take a moment and think before you pass harsh judgement so quickly.

#7- He is in deep grieve, no doubt about it. That does not make "..and wishing he had died during the birth, instead of.." right, does it? Counting your blessings is one of the principles that gives people hope. He loves his wife a lot. But unfortunately she is no more. What does it have to do with the kid? He should, if he is not, appreciate and be thankful, that he got the kid. I believe I never commented on the kid's upbringing. May be he is a good parent, we will never know. But thinking in such a way, as he has mentioned in the post, is dissappointing. Not being harsh, just thinking.

#7 - I'm not passing harsh judgements I'm merely stating my opinion. I'm sure he's in a huge amount of pain and I never said he himself was a horrible person. But there is no force on this universe that will convince me that wishing your innocent child was dead is anything other than a horrific thought.

You are not a horrible father. I had never had this kind of loss and I can't possibly imagine what a pain it must be. But things don't happen for no reason. Your wife had to pass. Maybe this little boy was the last gift she could bring you before going away. Please, treasure him and realize you are not alone. Life is so frail...

Sir, I am very sorry for your loss and there is nothing that can be said to ease the pain. The death of your wife has to be horrible for you, but please do not wish that your son passed in her place. For a mother, the loss of her child is devastating, it kills her heart and makes her cold and emotionless. It can make her hate the world. I am not trying to say that a father couldn't feel like that, but in my personal experience, a mother would want to give up her own life, just so her child could live. Instead of wishing that he had died instead of her, love him for being your son and her son. Love him dearly and show him how wonderful his mother was. Love him like a father, but also like his mother would have.

I think you are incredible for admitting this to yourself, for not denying it and allowing it to become a bitter resentment. Love doesn't happen automatically, even for your own child, but I know you care for him and I know you'll grow to love him dearly. I know this because despite everything, your still holding him in your arms. I'm saying this as a teenager and a daughter, I would never hate my father if this had happened to him and he had had these thoughts about me, because I know he loves me now, and that's all that matters. More than that, I would simply be happy I had been born of a union of such deep love. Hang in there, your doing alright.

Not a horrible father. Your wife just died your aloud to be upset. Someday hopefully you'll come to see that your wife is still alive in him.

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