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Today, I pretend to be happy simply so people won't bring up my dead daughter anymore. MMT

#17838 (3) - Nov 12, 2013 by southernmom - Sad - Yes, that made me think too! (598) - No, that made me sleepy. (16)



I do that too, but with my brother. I get so squirmy when people bring him up in our conversations. It's so hard to find the right things to say these days since he's been gone. Usually it always results in me fighting the sobs climbing up my throat, so I always try and pretend I'm okay on most days, when I'm usually at a low point in missing him. I'm sorry for your loss :( my loss was hard, but I can never imagine losing a child, though I'm nowhere near childbearing age yet.

I Lost my son on November 15 2004. Personally I find comfort in bringing him up every now and then I feel like If I dont talk about him its like he was never here. People are not comfortable with me bringing him up and when I do bring him up I only talk about his positive impact in my life and what his life did for mine. My sons life had purpose beyond his loss causing me despair. I do not bring him up for Pity or to dwell in his absence. I bring him up mainly because before him I did not know what Love was.....I did not appreciate the simple things in life........every bump in the road before him used to set me off....although I would do anything to see him again...I find myself more calm now moving into the future...I realize how fragile life is.....I realize I have no control over anything truly, I realize that the little things that used to cause me grief do not matter. These things are not a trade off for not having my son but they help me find thanks for people in my life who matter and they make waking up easier everyday. Everyone that knew me at the time of my loss thought I would not not make it they had seen my coping skills up to that point and they were not pretty...it is strange to me how I transformed after loosing the only person that ever mattered to me....but I will always talk about my sweet Cole that is all that I have left is my memory of our short time together here.

gigi, that is an interesting and good way to look at the situation, and I think it's the right way for you, though it's not really for me to say. Good luck with everything else, wish you the best.

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