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Today, as I reviewed my applications to the universities I've wanted to attend for years, I realized I would have given up UC Davis and Stanford to keep the baby that my parents pressured me into aborting 2 months ago based on the belief that I would get nowhere with a child at 17. I still mourn my loss. MMT

#5091 (27) - Feb 16, 2010 by mom - Sad - Yes, that made me think too! (1821) - No, that made me sleepy. (351)



Abortion is horriblehorriblehorrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Please seek some sort of religious guidance, if you can. I'll be praying for you.

Your parents did the right thing. After you get some qualifications and a decent job, you can actually support yourself and a family. It may be sad to have aborted it, but your parents were right.

Abortion is a difficult thing, regardless of your views, and it will take time to heal. But I disagree *vehemently* with "littlecosette"'s advice, unless you're a religious person already: they have an agenda. Seek *professional* help if you feel you need it, otherwise be patient and gentle with yourself.

I don't know why you would disagree so strongly with having religion help you at hard times. I'm an atheist myself, but I've first-handedly witnessed many people finding the strength they need within their faith. If it works for them, it's "real" enough for me. And uh, I'd say professionals have even more sinister agenda.. $$.

@Poony: Abortion is a special exception where many/most activist Christians take the guise of "save teh bebeez!" to act most unlike Christ. Interestingly enough, the policy changes proposed do little for the cause of fetuses and much for the cause of controlling women that can't be trusted to make the "right" decision. "Help after abortion" sections on a typical pro-life site take the assumption that either you didn't know what you were doing or that you were acting maliciously but didn't know better and must repent. Either way, there's a lot of guilt and shame projected onto the woman. ***** @RightKnight: I disagree. Considering the reproductive abilities inherent in teenagers, we allow them very few reproductive rights (especially since the assessment and answer posed by most 14-year-olds to questions like "should I have an abortion?" has comparable veracity to that of a given adult). University isn't going anywhere, she can have a kid and she'll still be brainy when she's ready to make it happen. ***** @littlecosette: I disagree that abortion is inherently bad but I am deeply saddened that it was forced upon the original poster. Virtually all of the pro-choice activists I've ever met consider FORCED abortion as abhorrent as forced pregnancy.

You're stuck on the hypotheticals, OP, and lack closure because you felt coerced instead of convinced. You could easily feel trapped and resentful if you'd carried the fetus to term. It's impossible to speculate on either scenario. Legal abortions performed by licensed medical providers have less than 1% complications; you'll still be able to have kids when you're older and able to provide for them with both your time and money.

Being in college will help you learn your parents are right. You almost lost your future.

I became a mother at 16. I graduated high school early and I am attending college now, and in no way did I lose my future. Her parents were not right and did the worst thing a parent could do when they bullied their daughter in to an abortion that she didn't want. Deciding what to do when you get pregnant is a very important, very PERSONAL decision and unless you come to a decision that you are 100% sure is the right one you will be stuck with all those negative feelings... not your parents. My mother kicked me out when I wouldn't get an abortion and I've never forgiven her for that, 3 years later. My daughter and I made it without her and proved everyone wrong. OP I'm sorry your parents betrayed you like that. The only advice I can give is seek counseling and console yourself with the knowledge that when you do have a child down the road you'll be in the position where no one can tell you what to do with your body or your life.

I took a break from school and got pregnant in that time. I aborted it because of the way my then fiance was treating me over it. I left him shortly after. Right before I moved closer to my family my father was hospitalized, his cancer came back. Days before he died my boyfriend and I unknowingly created a new life. I began making plans to retun to school and then found out I was pregnant. I put my life on hold for the baby. I now have a 4 year old son and have been working my butt off, I'm a single mom now. I work full time and go to school full time. Next soring I will graduate. I don't regret a thing but it would certainly be far easier if I had made different choices. Everything does typically work out in the end. I'm sure someday you'll have an amazing and happy family. Don't be sorry and regret things, you only cause yourself misery. Look to the future.

Look at these two who got pregnant. How long they delayed school. Can't go to Stanford as a teenage mom!! Mockingbird sacrificed her relationship with her family. FourLeadClover didn't learn from her mistake. Read the MMT at the top of the page about the mom telling her son to dream big when she's just a waitress. That could've been you. Why mourn something you never had. Keep your nose in the books. USE CONDOMS AND BIRTH CONTROL EVERY TIME YOU HAVE SEX. OR DON'T HAVE SEX.

I didn't delay school. Did you notice the part where I said I graduated high school early? Nor did I sacrifice my relationship with my mother... we we not on good terms long before. Had I not gotten pregnant I would have cut off contact with her anyway at 18. She is not a person I would want in my life, with or without having had a child. And you don't know if the other MMT was a teen mother.

Like many people, I have been taught all my life the same thing that your parents told you. But reflecting on this MMT caused me to think: So what's the real point of life? To be rich and educated and "do it right" and follow the proper timeline? Or to be happy? You should have been allowed to make your own choice. It certainly would not have been easy for you, and I can see why your parents told you what they did. Still, it was your choice and not theirs.

Abortion is foremost the woman's choice, in no way shape or form should anyone besides her pressure or tell her what to do with her body. So while you're parents are free to give you advice, they're wrong to force or pressure you to do what they think is right, because it only matters what you think. But just as wrong as if you kept it for the wrong reasons. Going to school doesn't guarantee you success or a stable life, and its sad to see so many people allured by the siren of a four year degree means a good job and a happy life. To be truly happy one must realize that money, fame, recognition, and power aren't the path to happiness but the bi-product, you shouldn't bury your nose in books if you don't feel its right. It's sad seeing people who've followed the carefully marked path with the wrong intentions only to reach the finish line and realize the best part of life is the journey not the destination. College is a great and wonderful thing, if not for the education for the experiences and lessons you will learn, but these things are not exclusive to school. So do not worry what the people around you tell you do or think is right or wrong, but do not be deaf to there words, understand what they say and make you're own judgment because in the end its YOUR life, so breath easy and relax, because in world where people are constantly making mountains out of molehills your life is too short to try and climb them all. -Vela

Why don't you read the stories on ImNotSorry. You'll cherish your future children even more because you planned for them, planned to give them the best. I love how somebody telling you to stay in school has lead to other people saying fame and money isn't worth everything. Well an education is if you take it seriously which it sounds like you do. Would you rather work two jobs and be less likely to have a husband and never spend time with your family? Abortion *is* the choice of the individual, but some states require parental permission and then it's the parents' choice. Can't have it both ways.

I am so so sorry...it is perfectly normal for you to feel sad. Abortion is contrary to every fiber of our being. You are not alone, 1 in 3 women have had an abortion during their reproductive lifetime. There are many groups to help you heal after abortion. One of my favorites is Rachel's vineyard.I encourage you to contact these wonderful people. It is very good that you have warned people about your experience. Maybe it can help others. Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your child I will pray for you and your family. Please know your child is in heaven in the hands of our Heavenly Father. Have a Holy Life. Jesus truly loves you. He is the King of mercy.

Didn't learn from my mistake? Any form of birth control can fail. You have no clue what happened.

DO NOT CONTACT RACHEL'S VINEYARD. Do not fall for the tricks and lies of the antiabortion religious crowd. Like I said before, you're mostly upset that the choice was made for you - but who's to say you wouldn't have made the same choice? Abortion is not a problem, period, and it's not your problem either. Talk to a regular therapist if you'd like. It sounds like you could be hesitant about your future and might need to talk to somebody before you leave your friends and family for college.

Although I myself could never have an abortion, I have the firm believe that every woman has the right to chose what happens within her own body. Especially when it comes to a life that she created. I'm sorry your parents took that from you. I hope you face your loss with strength. As far as the religious side a lot of people are trying to bring out, I myself am somewhere happily in between Atheist and Agnostic, don't let anyone pressure you one way or another. [: Best wishes.

Cricket I know you mean well but abortion is wrong - nothing can change the fact that it is the killing of an innocent child and the wounding of the mother and father. To say you couldn't tell others what to do is like saying... I could never (insert any evil act here) own a slave but I cannot tell others what to do. We have to stand for what is right. If someone is thinking about an abortion -help them find alternatives. There are many people wanting to adopt but simply not enough babies. No one ever regrets having a baby, but 93% of women regret their abortions. Unfortunatly the young woman who started this thread ironically didn't have a choice-this decision was forced on her and she will have to live with this loss.

Not a single woman, whether they made that choice because it felt right to them, doesn't feel the guilt. Justifying it will only numb the guilt. In the end you have to justify ending a life to have a future. Of course you could get terminal cancer at any time. To bad you can't abort that. No man is promised tomorrow. oh, p.s. free song: http://c.ilike.com/d/0000/814/0000814064.mp3?fn=Take+No+Glory-Let+You+Live.mp3

It is not the woman's choice. She made her choice by having sex. That baby is a human being and I'm sure if it could speak it would choose to live. I'm not saying this because of religion. I'm saying it because it is a human being in that womb. How is it right to kill an innocent baby. People need to grow up and take responsibility for their actions. You have made your choice. Don't take away another human being's choice.

It was your choice, but your parents also meant the best for you. Seek a professional therapist, and good luck in school. @im4life4ever I made an account just because I had to express my shock at your statement: "There are many people wanting to adopt but simply not enough babies. No one ever regrets having a baby, but 93% of women regret their abortions." You must be joking. Please, tell me you're joking. The Home for Good Foundation (a Christian organization, no less) has an orphan statistics page that states that according to the United Nations, every year 14,050,000 children age out of the orphanage system, meaning they were never adopted. As for the odds of someone regretting having a baby, I would argue that any person who has given birth has, at some point, even if for only a second, regretted it. Don't shove your religious agenda on us, okay?

Believe me, you very possibly could have ended up hating that child for being born. While no one should ever force a woman into what is to be done with her life, a child before you are ready for it is the worse thing that could happen to you and that child. I was born because my mother couldnt afford an abortion. So, I have never had enough food to eat, never had a loving mother or father, and can now in no way afford an education past high school because my mother had to drop out of college to have me. Because she did that, she is currently working two jobs and having me work over 30 hours a week on top of school to help pay bills. I ALWAYS use birth control but if I ever become pregnant before I am ready to have a child, I will do the RIGHT thing by the child and save it from a life of no hope and misery. You currently think the wrong choice was made for you, thats because you still have the option of going to school, eating a full meal, and not having to work multiple jobs.

I promise you'll never forget and I also promise it will get better-one day at a time. One day it will all make sense.

Abortion is taking responsibility.

I know this is super old, but some of these comments really hit a nerve with me. @ An. So instead of giving your baby up for adoption to a family that can't have children, you would rather end its life in order to make yours a little easier? It's called sacrifice. You made the decision to have sex, take responsibility. What happened to the OP is absolutely horrible and something I would NEVER forgive my parents for. Murdering an innocent child is NEVER the right thing to do. There are other options.

Calling a child (more correctly, a fetus or embryo) innocent implies there are guilty, immoral babies out there. A girl isn't required to sacrifice her dreams, ambitions, and future because someone can't have a biological child. There isn't a shortage of children to adopt in the U.S., did you know that? Women like you katielaurenn shouldn't be forced by the state to give birth to provide babies for people who can't give birth. That's fascism. An abortion is not murder.

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