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Today, I love my mentally handicapped son with all my heart. But my love for him is ruining my relationships with the rest of my family and friends. MMT

#9611 (12) - Aug 18, 2010 by Anonymous - Sad - Yes, that made me think too! (1002) - No, that made me sleepy. (63)


Comments

 

A friend who cannot accept your love for anyone is not your friend at all

I agree. Your love for your son is a fundamental part of you--anyone of worth should be able to see that.

It's not the love of her son they can't work around. It's the fact that she probably finds it incredibly difficult to find time for anyone else but her son, cannot think about anything but her son & her son relies on her to give up all her free time for him.

This is a tough one. I'm the daughter of parents who have an autistic son who is my older brother. He will be 29 soon. Their coddling of him and a lack of research when he was first diagnosed led to him not developing as best as he could and now, although he is fully physically functional and normal appearing, he is otherwise a creature of habit who has held them back in a ton of ways. Can he be blamed? No. It isn't his fault but it is a slippery slope. One successful use of "well we can't because of Johnny" for any reason has resulted in a multitude of disappointments, prolonged depression, and loss of relationships for both of my parents through some, all, or no fault of their own. My mother and father have learned how to work it properly to let depression go on too long, let their health decline, and make themselves less valuable to their other children. "Because of Johnny" my father saw my college once, the day I graduated. My parents were always supportive but he became a crutch over life that once you see it, you can't ever lose that image and it can be maddening. At this point he would be better left to a facility so they could let go of some things and move along, and while I understand their concept that they don't want to abandon their son, they have abandoned their entire lives in the meantime. I suggest, not to put your son somewhere, I don't know his level or anything regarding your situation, but you should begin by seeking a professional just to express your emotions to. You need to remember that your life is just as valuable and you need you time. It may seem like guilt, but be careful, as with some things it may be an excuse in disguise.

Find a happy medium. Between your son and the rest of your friends and family.

Find a happy medium. Between your son and the rest of your friends and family.

Find a happy medium. Between your son and the rest of your friends and family.

Find a happy medium. Between your son and the rest of your friends and family.

Find a happy medium. Between your son and the rest of your friends and family.

Find a happy medium. Between your son and the rest of your friends and family.

This reminds me of a character from the play "Our Lady of 121st Street." It's the character of Edwin. He has such a big heart that he has taken his mentally handicapped brother under his wing since their mother died. And... his main struggle through the play is deciding whether to look after his brother or pursue a relationship. He chooses his loyalty to his brother. You, my dear, are all your son has. If the ones close to you do not understand that.... then they really aren't your friends. Don't give up on him, and don't give up on your friends. You're strong. :-)

Wow. #4 is incredible. Good luck, OP.

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